SUMMER PODCAST REBOOT – this episode was originally published in Advent 2019.
It’s lovely to have you join us for Tuesday’s podcast. The Bible reading today is Ephesians Chapter 5 vs21-33.
REFLECTION:
This passage is incredibly famous, some would even say infamous. And because of this, it is important that we read all the verses together, rather than just focusing on one, and taking it out of the context it was written in. Therefore, I am going to read the entire passage at the beginning of the podcast, rather than at the end.
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”
Some people struggle with this passage because they feel it promotes a social and cultural system in which women are disempowered and oppressed in a male dominated society.
However, if we are followers of Jesus, who believe that the Bible is the word of God, then it is important that we get to grips with what is written in it…..and even more important that we don’t just pick out and follow the verses that we like, and ignore and condemn the ones that are difficult.
As a woman, a wife, and a mother of a daughter, I don’t consider these verses to be outdated, controversial, sexist or negative. But that doesn’t mean to say that they are not challenging.
And that is what we are going to look at in today’s podcast – the challenge. Why are these words challenging?
Firstly, these verses are challenging because we just don’t like the word ‘submit.’ John Mark Comer brilliantly sums up our 21st century attitude when he writes:
“We don’t want to submit to anyone, much less a husband or wife. To say we’re anti-authoritarian would be the understatement of the century. We value individual freedom above all.”
So whether it is verse 21 – submitting to others, verse 22 – wives submitting to husbands, or even verse 24 – each of us submitting to Christ – we find the idea of submission challenging.
Today submission is seen as weakness, or as something that only comes as the result of a domineering relationship.
Therefore to voluntarily submit to another person is a huge challenge to our current world view of how relationships should work.
But Jesus always challenged the current world view, both then and now. And we are called to do the same.
Rather than indicating weakness, if we look at the definition of the word submission, it is actually a hugely powerful word. Submission means “to tend to the needs of”, “to give allegiance to”, “to be responsive to”, “to put another’s good ahead of your own.”
Submission is not about obedience, or doing as you are told, instead it is an active choice that we make for ourselves. And that choice is whether we will live alongside others, and conduct our relationships with one another, with the same attitude and approach that Jesus had.
Will we deny ourselves, give up our desire for individual freedom, in order to put another’s good ahead of our own?
Because all of us, whether we are a man or a woman, single or married, are called to submit to one another out of reverence to Christ.
Secondly, these verses are challenging to men.
Even when Paul first wrote them, they were challenging to men – a fact which we often overlook, as we are so fixated on the ‘wives submit to your husband’ verse!
At the time the New Testament was written, wives were the property of their husbands, they had no rights, and women in society were treated as second class citizens. A successful marriage was really all about producing children, rather than anything else.
So rather than lowering the status of women in marriage, Paul is actually doing the exact opposite. When Paul tells the men in Ephesus that they are to love their wives, it is hard to imagine just how shocking this was.
And not just any old love, but to love in the way that Christ loved the church.
To put her needs above his own, to encourage and enable her to develop a greater depth of holiness, to see any areas of brokenness restored to wholeness in her life, to speak to her with words that make her glow and flourish, to sacrifice time, riches, position and authority for her, to love her unconditionally, and ultimately to die for her.
These verses are incredibly challenging for men, and we should support, encourage and champion every man who says yes to marriage, and therefore yes to loving his wife in this way.
Finally, these verses are challenging to women, because they portray a picture of marriage as God intended it to be – as it was in the Garden of Eden.
God invented marriage all the way back in Genesis, and he did this before the human race had come up with any legal systems, voting rights, or money and property laws, that lessened the status of women in society. And God invented marriage before the MeToo movement, and before any abusive, controlling or derogatory treatment of women had ever happened.
To me, as a follower of Jesus, I want to know about God’s original plan and design for my life and for my relationship with my husband.
And therefore the challenge is not to read the Bible solely through the lens of everything that has happened since that point in Creation, and that first marriage between Adam and Eve.
As Christian women, our attitudes to marriage and our relationship with our husbands should not mirror the culture around us, reflecting a constant ‘battle of the sexes’ narrative; but instead they should model a relationship between a man and a woman that is strikingly different. And that means submitting willingly, as we seek to follow the example of Christ.
And that is a challenge, and so we should support, encourage and champion every woman who says yes to marriage, and therefore yes to loving her husband in this way.
The Passion translation of verse 32 says: “Marriage is the beautiful design of the Almighty, a great and sacred mystery—meant to be a vivid example of Christ and his church.”
Yesterday we looked at how our purpose is to be Advent people – shining the light of Christ for everyone around us to see. Our marriages are meant to be that same vivid example, showing others how God intended relationships to be. It may be a mystery, but Jesus is the hope for all our relationships, and our calling as Christians is to rise to the challenge.
PRAYER:
Heavenly Father, help us today to be responsive to the needs of others, to put other’s good ahead of our own, and help us to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Amen.
BIBLE READING: Ephesians 5:21-33
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church – for we are members of his body. ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.