Welcome to Friday’s Podcast. Next week Liam Brennan will continue our journey through first Peter. Our reading today is 1 Peter 3:1-7.
Yesterday we began to look at “how do we practically live as God’s people in the world today?” Particularly in relation to the government and to the workplace. Today we are going to look at the home and how this works within a marriage. Now I know not everyone listening to this podcast will be married. Some are our youth, students or perhaps you know God has called you to singleness. We touched on that calling (and mentioned singleness) on Tuesday, give that a listen again if you would like to.
REFLECTION:
Well today’s verses talk about a very specific relationship dynamic. However, if we don’t fit he description, we do not need to exclude ourselves. We might just need to work a little harder together to see this example, find the principles behind what is being said and apply them to our own relationships at home. I hope to follow that pattern today.
Today’s verses are much shorter than previous days so I will read it out in full now.
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Sometimes when we give a daily reflection, we get the joy of sharing a short thought on something that is perhaps one of our favourite parts of the Bible. I don’t feel that way today. I hope you hear this as refreshingly honest but I think today has some of the hardest words for me – with my modern eyes and ears – to take in. At first glance it can be read as a backhanded complement. Wives remember your beauty comes from within – so no pressure to grab the accessories or style your hair to complete the lockdown look – but do remember you play a weaker role in this partnership – ouch.
Perhaps, different to me, you see no difficulty in these words at all. The Church is the big family of God and there is room in the family for us to hold different views and still respect one another. That said, I am convinced that the Bible, in its entirety, is fairly clear that husbands should not embody superiority in Jesus’ church. Let me explain my view. Rather than diving in quickly to a focus verse today – we are going to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. We will quickly look at the where we first see this idea of man ruling over woman in the Bible and ask why is it there in the first place? And then we will ask what can I apply of this to my life?
Where is this idea of stronger and weaker partner introduced? Right the way back in in Genesis 3:16 we read that the man will rule over the woman as a consequence of the fall and sin. God tells Adam that work will now become hard, tiring and dangerous. God tells Eve that giving birth will become painful and dangerous. That your husband will now rule over you. Arguably not part of God’s ideal & design for husband and wives.
What is God’s ideal & design for husband and wives?
Some people might say that Genesis 1 is about a vertical relationship between human beings and God, with human beings being weaker than God, while Genesis 2 is about a horizontal relationship between man and woman, with woman being weaker than man. However, there is so much more than this going on here.
In Genesis 1 God created humans on the sixth day of creation. The Hebrew word used in Genesis 1:27 (‘So God created human beings’) is adam – which does not exclusively mean ‘the man’ but means ‘mankind’ or ‘the human’. It is not until Genesis 2 that we find out how God created male and female – in Genesis 1 we learn that ‘mankind’ is created in the image of God. Same again in Genesis 5:1-2 says ‘When God created human beings; he made them to be like himself. He created them male and female, and he blessed them and called them “human.”’ That means that together we bear the image of God on this planet. In fact, in Genesis 1:28 men and women are told to rule and have dominion over the earth together. It was never just supposed to be that man was stronger therefore the superior!
In Genesis 2 we are told how God created male and female. Many people use the argument that because man was created first, men must be the ones who have the authority and that is what makes them better. However, if you follow that line of argument then you can say that cows were created before man and so man must be subordinate to ‘Our Cow Molly’… their ice-cream is good but I don’t consider cows of greater importance than humankind. Not even Molly.
In Genesis 2:18 God says that he will make Adam a ‘helper’ for it is ‘not good that man should be alone’. Many people have used this verse to say, that because Eve is Adam’s helper, that is the reason she is weaker to Adam. However, God is called our ‘helper’ lots of times in scripture – in Psalm 55:4, Psalm 27:9, Deuteronomy 33:29, Psalm 118:6 – we are surely not going to suggest that God is weaker than us! Paul says in Hebrews 13:6 that ‘we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?”’. Adam sees Eve as his equal and not as someone who is weaker to him!
As we move into Genesis 3 we see that everything begins to change, in fact everything in the whole of history changed with the fall. The beautiful order we see in Genesis 1 and 2 gets distorted as a result of both the man and woman’s sin. If this is consequential then should we really be seeking to embody this in Jesus’ church? If we do, does this then mean we are holding onto things that Jesus came to undo?
It is important to ask the question.
This is something of what I believe about marriage within this podcast. For some people this might feel like a conversation that needs to be discussed, others might not be fazed at all. As I said at the beginning the church is big enough for people who hold different opinions on this topic. The next step is to still love each other and work together to seeing the Gospel of Jesus proclaimed and demonstrated. Things like this might not find complete consensus in our lifetime, they haven’t for centuries, but we live as one family and with the tension of Godly, prayerful and Jesus loving people believing different things.
Before hearing this today, what is your real-life experience of this part of life? Maybe you are married or the example of other marriages closer to you? What do you think and feel about this?
Let’s take note of God speaking to us and how we might live practically for him today.
PRAYER:
Jesus, we love your Bible. They are your very words to us. But sometimes, Lord, the daily bread is tough to chew on. Help us to understand, help us to live it out and, above all, help us to continue to love each other sacrificially. Because of Jesus’ example and in his name. Amen.
BIBLE READING: 1 Peter 3:1-7 (NIV)
Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behaviour of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewellery or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.